I once dated a multi-millionaire. Set up through a matchmaker, Doug was fit, attractive, well-educated, well-traveled and very, very wealthy. He should have been every woman's fantasy, right? Wrong. Doug talked incessantly about himself, maligned his ex-wife (the mother of his children), and showed little interest in my life. Yawn. Money be damned, I had to kick him to the curb.
I was not afraid to let Doug go. I knew that by employing the simple rules of attraction, a bigger and better opportunity would be around the bend. Thankfully, I was right!
Can you become a magnet to attract eligible, honest, commitment-minded men into your life? Yes!! With diligence and purpose, use these following 8 steps to attract hot, fun and healthy love in your life.
#1. Be Singularly Unique.
Make a list of the things you like best about yourself. Courageously and fearlessly show these gifts to others on a daily basis. Fight hard to maintain the exuberance, curiosity and playfulness of childhood in the face of the responsibilities of adulthood.
Are you a wonderful cook? Invite friends over for a Moroccan feast on Saturday night. Are you the office prankster? Make it your goal to effortlessly lighten the mood and make others' hearts sing. Love poker? Arrange a standing monthly game.
A warm, authentic smile lights up your face, exhibits warmth, and yields tremendous power in the world. If you take a moment to look around, you'll notice that the majority of people avoid eye contact. Make a conscious choice to forge a different path to radiate positivity, kindness, and a joie de vivre on a daily basis and during the most mundane tasks (i.e., grocery shopping, walking the dog.) A bright and sunny disposition will draw others to you.
#3. Get Busy with Your Life.
I have a girlfriend who desperately wanted a boyfriend. Every night after work, she plopped down on the couch to watch television. I often joked, "Girlfriend, the chance that Mr. Dreamy will come knocking on your door is extremely low!"
Happy and healthy people cultivate hobbies and adventures (outside their 9-5 jobs) that make their hearts sing. While a passion project may put you into contact with eligible bachelors who share your interests, it will definitely add richness, texture and color to your world. And, you'll be surprised how much you have to talk about when Mr. Right finally comes along!
#4. Become a "Yes" Woman.
I dated a man who, on paper, was my polar opposite. I'm a 5'0" attorney (and dating coach) with a love of world travel, haute cuisine, European clothing and Wes Anderson films. Gary is a 6'3" martial artist who dresses like a rock star, smokes cigars, and blares The Rolling Stones from his vintage automobile. From outside appearances, we couldn't be any more different. But, our values, life outlook, passion for philanthropy and sense of humor sync up effortlessly. I taught Gary about authentic Thai cuisine and he took me to a midnight tattoo parlor (operated by a Russian dentist).
Look at life as a grand adventure! Do not be so stuck in your ways that you miss the viable opportunities to learn from people very different than you. If someone invites you out, say "YES," even if you have your doubts. Keep an open mind and heart.
#5. See Opportunity Everywhere.
Is online dating an excellent way to meet eligible men? Absolutely. What about a speed dating event? Yup. But, do not become so focused on "traditional" dating forums to the exclusion of the world around you! Strike up conversation in the line at Whole Foods and Starbucks. Flirt with the handsome stranger while waiting at the dentist's office. (Heck, you know he has clean teeth!) Cultivate the habit of being friendly and open to everyone around you. Be surprised at what unfolds.
#6. Meditate to Develop Your Intuition.
Meditation is a wonderful practice to bring peace and quiet to your mind amid daily demands, stress and noise. In addition to a renewed sense of calm and peace, you will develop heightened intuition. Pay attention to your internal voice and assess other people's vibes. Do not waste your time on "toxic vampires" who make you feel insecure, depleted or disrespected. Set your boundaries against these spiritual and emotional invasions, and you'll soon welcome positive, loving and respectful relationships into your world.
#7. Take a Fearless Moral Inventory.
We all have bad habits or negative emotions that stymie our ability to develop greater intimacy. Take an honest appraisal of your life and where you can improve. Make a deliberate intention to take small steps towards improvement. Are you often late? Do you flake out on obligations at the last minute? Have a fierce temper? Are prone to negativity? Be mindful of those habits that block intimacy and work on them diligently with and effort towards improvement.
#8. Be the Very Thing You Want to Attract.
Like is attracted to like. Do you want a kind and loving partner? Exhibit unfailing generosity, patience and kindness towards others. Want a partner who accepts your flaws without criticism or judgment? Practice acceptance and empathy towards others you meet in the world. Want a partner who is fit, trim and energetic? Develop a discipline towards exercise and cultivate a diet of healthy foods. Want a partner who appreciates all the beautiful things you add to the world? Be grateful and express thanks for the wonderful gifts others give you.