Having lived in New York City my entire adult life, I rely on the subway. I have never owned a car, but I do know this:
A Mercedes does not beg to be driven.
Marketed as a luxury automobile, men and women work hard to earn the right to drive such a prestigious car.
Because of this, you will never see a Mercedes dealer:
- Bombard potential customers with repeated phone calls, emails and texts to see if they are still interested in the purchase;
- Pine for a customer for years on end, in hopes of finally making that sale;
- Offer over-the-top incentives (i.e., Knicks tickets or elaborate Caribbean vacations) to change the mind of a reluctant buyer;
- Allow a customer to drive the car for free while s/he makes up their mind.
The dealer does not have to beg. Mercedes is confident in the strength of its product. It is this very confidence that draws suitable, serious buyers in droves.
What does this have to do with dating? A lot.
Every day, I see women and men market themselves like Chevrolet Sonics.
- Email, text and call repeatedly to signal their ongoing interest to the object of their affection;
- Focus all their efforts on one person to the exclusion of other opportunities;
- Attempt to buy affection with lavish gifts, expensive trips and other inappropriate indulgences;
- Give sex freely, even after hearing a lack of interest from the other party, in hopes of changing their paramour's mind.
These behaviors say, “Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!” These subtle chasing behaviors are both unattractive and ineffective. I remind my clients that anything that is chased tends to run in the opposite direction.
Decide to market yourself like a Mercedes. This does not mean that you should act haughty or arrogant. Instead, take proactive measures to develop a quiet confidence. Invest in mental, physical and spiritual growth to become the best version of you. Refuse to chase, knowing that your worth will easily attract high-quality suitors to you.