Can I tell you a secret? One that only my closest friends know?
I am an extremely private person.
Although I make friends easily (and am prone to long conversations with strangers), I can count my very closest friends on a few fingers. I much prefer 1-on-1 dinners to big parties. I am an extrovert who needs a lot of alone time to be with my thoughts and my books.
When I embarked upon this mission to build School of Love NYC, I felt...scared out of my mind.
The most private parts of my life (my failed marriage, my searing heartbreaks, and my foibles and lessons from dating nearly 70 men) would be out there for the world to see. The exposure felt paralyzing.
But, I keep going. One foot in front of the other.
I believe this work is my calling. When a reader tells me that they are developing stronger self-esteem, I beam with joy. When a client has their first good date in years, my heart skips a beat. When a stranger is inspired to forgive an ex, I smile wide.
I'm learning that fear is natural.
In the beautiful words of Ambrose Redmoon, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than one's fear." Teaching others how to transcend heartbreak, date successfully and forge healthy relationships has become more important than my need for privacy.
So, what are you afraid of? All too often, my clients are afraid of:
- Showing their true, quirky, and eccentric selves for fear of criticism;
- Risking their heart after it has been battered and bruised;
- Believing in love when the world provides few healthy models to emulate; or
- Leaving unproductive relationships for the unknown.
I encourage you to fight against complacency in 2016--and to find that one thing that inspires you to move through (and ultimately beyond) fear. Dating and relationships are learned skills--ones in which you can only improve through repeated practice and a good bit of failure.
In 2016, I hope to coach more clients, give more live presentations, and publish more writing. If I can help you reach your goals, I hope you'll reach out.
Until then, I wish you nothing but health, happiness, and love for 2016.