#6A. Give From the Saucer, Not the Cup. (Answers).


1.     How did Tara not realize that she was exhausted?

Our society has become one where overwork is a sign of pride. It’s not uncommon to hear people say, “I worked until midnight!” Most people perform multiple tasks at once—texting while driving, checking social media while eating, or talking on the phone while exercising. 

We live in a state of frenzy and multitasking.

In constant motion, it’s easy to disconnect from feelings. Like Tara, many people do not realize they are exhausted. Depletion, overwork and exhaustion is “normal.” But, this is an extremely dangerous state for mental and emotional health.

2.     How have women been conditioned to over-give?

Women have been socially conditioned to over-perform and put themselves last. Putting themselves first feels “selfish,” although it’s an emotionally healthy mindset. 

Today’s woman wears multiple hats: Employee. Caretaker. Therapist. Chauffeur. Nurse. Cook. Housekeeper. Mother. Social coordinator. CEO. CFO. Interior decorator. 

She rarely asks for help. Even when she’s on the verge of breakdown, her work ethic is a source of pride.

3.     Why is it so important to give from the saucer, not the cup?

When you fly on an airplane, you are taught to put the oxygen mask on yourself first in case of an emergency. When you’re secure, you can help others. When you’re empty, it’s nearly impossible to be of service to others. You will feel angry and resentful when giving from a place of depletion.

As my clients prioritize self-care, their anxiety lifts. They sleep better. They feel energized—for time with friends, exercise, and a healthy sex life.

Let go of the idea of “doing it all.” Ask for help. Being emotionally healthy and happy is the best gift you can give to the people you love.

Monica Parikh