In the earlier installment, Tara and I unpacked her relationship history. Her relationships suffered due to incorrect beliefs and faulty behaviors—the result of old social programming. I asked a series of questions. The answers are below:
1. Why is self-care integral to emotional health?
Self-care is an activity that fosters greater mental, emotional, and physical health. Practiced deliberately, you will have a marked decrease in anxiety and insomnia and feel happier on a day-to-day basis.
Learning to say “no” is an important part of self-care. Shed behaviors that are draining, including checking emails at night, working around the clock, eating while standing, or spending time with people who take more than they give.
Make time for uplifting activity. Eat nutritious meals. Exercise regularly. Meditate. Spend time in nature. Cultivate meaningful relationships. You’ll feel calmer, more optimistic and will quiet the frantic thoughts in your mind.
2. What is the problem with serial monogamy?
Relationships are wonderful. But, they are not a cure for loneliness.
Instead, develop a good relationship with yourself. Use the time between relationships wisely! Analyze past mistakes. Develop greater emotional intelligence. Travel. Strengthen friendships. Further your education. Create art. Raise yourself as a professional. Volunteer.
As you become more secure, you’ll naturally raise your standards. True love is found when you “want” a relationship, but don’t “need” a relationship.
3. What does it mean to “lose power due to fear and insecurity”?
Many people fear being alone. They falsely believe it’s better to be coupled than single. The truth is-- it’s better to be in the right relationship, as opposed to any relationship.
Insecurity puts you at-risk for emotional, physical and spiritual abuse. You may be fearful to stand up for yourself, allowing other people (lovers, friends, family and coworkers) to treat you like a doormat. Being overly “nice” often invites disrespect.