#9A. You Get What You Think You Deserve (Answers).

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In our earlier installment, Tara complained about the abusive management style of her boss. I taught her that as she changes her mindset, all relationships in her life will be transformed. I also asked a series of questions—the answers are below:

1.     How does fear sabotage romantic and professional relationships?

When you have low self-esteem, fear will keep you stuck in poor relationships of all kinds. Out of fear, you will tolerate disrespect in romance, family dynamics, friendships, and working conditions.  

In Tara’s case, she has tolerated a working environment rife with problems. At a minimum, she is entitled to: paid sick and break time (including a lunch hour), overtime pay, and working conditions in line with a code of conduct. (She should not have to tolerate a screaming boss.) She is likely entitled to a pay raise, too.

2.     What are boundaries?

Boundaries are the invisible “fences” that protect us. They keep other people from inappropriately coming into our space. They keep us from going into other people’s space. 

Boundaries keep us safe and allow us to stop taking responsibility for the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others.

3.     Where have Tara’s boundaries been violated?

Everyone is entitled to fair and respectful behavior. Tara’s boundaries were violated when she:

  • Worked overtime without pay.

  • Received a condescending and demeaning response to a request for a pay raise.

  • Went to work, despite having the flu and a fever.

  • Worked without lunch and paid breaks, as required by law.

  • Tolerated working conditions contrary to a code of conduct (i.e., a screaming boss.)

 

 

 



Monica Parikh